Obituaries
My name is not there today
The drinks are on me

I sit and wonder
Why my life is so crazy
Just lucky, I guess

Parental warning
Some instruments rated R
Sax and violins

On Mt. Olympus
The Greek Gods eat ambrosia
But we have pizza

How did we ever
Find anything anywhere
Before Google Maps?

Local McDonald's
Is getting a remodel
Lipstick on a pig

Neither dough nor nuts
Donuts need a better name
How 'bout Cake Bagels?

One hour parking
Violaters will be towed
Don't touch my Mustang

The tiny tacos
At Jack in the Box are now
My new fave junk food

How come you always
Spill something on yourself when
You're in a white shirt?